How do you greet someone a happy birthday when that person has passed away? Many people believe good people go to heaven. Many say, they're waiting for judgment. My belief is simple - we go back to the eternity of the Universe, which makes death not a scary end but a glorious destination. I subscribe to the belief that we are particles of the Universe and that at birth, we are lent time to experience physical consciousness through the gift and wonder of senses; an experience we call life. This world then is a very, very special place for this experience and we are extremely lucky to go through it. Each life on earth is a rarity in the wideness of space and each birth, each arriving and awakening a consciousness, therefore is a gift of immeasurable worth.
I'm therefore thankful that my mom's life was one experience worth having. It was a beautiful life of adventures, challenges and successes shared with friends and family. What I remember now of her are not really the times we spent together but her journeys she made on her own - that trip to the province one summer with Tita Baby when they were kids, her daily long walk to the school from Camp Aguinaldo, the suitors she had, the clothes she sew for herself, her part-time work during college - solo challenges that made her strong and unique. And while I remember her for who she was on her own, I'm definitely thankful how her life has affected and inspired mine. She's Christian but not overtly religious - finding in her life inconsistencies between what she learned in her challenges versus what were taught to her. She was a beautiful rebel - questioning first before accepting and accepting what's true in this world, not what should be according to some. She was wise as a mother could get but ever curious like a child; ever beautiful. The entirety of her was a wonder of nature, a glimpse of the beauty of the eternal.
Each life is a rarity not only in its physical presence versus the vastness of the universe but also as a moment in history. Our lives are on their own, rare experiences that only one person can go through in one's own limited lifetime. Each on of us is a limited edition. And my mom was one limited edition gift I'm glad and joyful to have had. She was an experience on her own that I remember now in sunny summers, cold teas and in laughter. Now she's back up there, in eternity, in the universe, in space. She's back to what she was before, a particle, an essence of the eternal, unconscious but still beautiful. She's now dust, also light; a star I look up to every clear night. I don't desire to see her living once again, breathing in physicality. But I do look forward to joining her again in the peaceful, beautiful, glorious eternity of the light-filled universe.
So how do I greet her a happy birthday? Just like this. In being glad she came.
I love and miss you mom. :)
this year marks my dad's 6th death anniversary as well. but like you, our family does not commemorate his passing but celebrate his life --- i appreciate your mum not just because she came, but because she brought you as well.
ReplyDeleteThanks Victor.
DeleteI appreciate your dad as well for the same reason.
Sugod lang. =)