Monday, November 22, 2010

Meanwhile, thank you for the music =)

The happy beat, lights and choreography:


The music, definitely:

I don't have content. Shett.

Either having a boyfriend is sapping my energy or he gives me ultimate affirmation that I don't need to get it from anywhere else. Like my blog and Facebook.

However, reviewing my About page, and having been reminded by my man-bff, I am compelled to write again. About anything.

The biggest hindrance for me to blog is my self-doubt on my opinions. Do they really matter? Am I too noisy to myself and to others? Am I making any sense? Does writing contribute to anything concrete? I do not doubt the power of words and ideas but I guess what I'm really afraid of is becoming too self-righteous and preachy without doing anything. True that ideas turn the world around, but my many ideas are too detached from my everyday self that their motives become suspect to the jaded point of view that words without action are words without meaning. And meaning is something I will never want to take out of words.

Or am I just lazy?

Or is it because I don't read anymore and have succumbed to the lifestyle/trend spotters' penchant for anything just visual, words being reduced to short copy points of wit, trying to pass off as poetry? Am I becoming more abstract that words are slowly becoming harder to grasp and control versus visual constructs like shape, form and color?

Or I just don't have anything to write? Which goes back to the same question -- does what I want to say/write matter?

I don't have the answers really. Unlike before when I'd always try to end blog entries with witty epiphanies, now it doesn't seem to matter. The fact that I was able to write a few lines already is already a big feat.

Or am I getting old, less passionate, less idealistic, less... preachy? Jaded? Or am I just very content with everything there is with me right now? Maybe. But I shouldn't be; I have to move forward. And meanwhile, as I wait for my momentum to pick up, I am totally singing this song:

Monday, November 8, 2010

I must come back.

Back to health.

Back to creativity.

Back to productivity.

Back to progress.